Would You Vote for Dirty Dai? ; (1) Rake, Drunk, Rampant Lothario but Apart From That, Dai Llewellyn Is No Ordinary Politician.So Will He Seduce the Voters As Easily As His Countless Conquests ...(2) How I See It

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THE election candidate walks into the butcher's shop and surveys the immaculate spread of lamb chops and sausages. At this point, most politicians would make some grovelling remark about the food and ask the butcher for his vote.

This, though, is no ordinary candidate. 'Got any squashed badger?' he asks the speechless butcher. 'I like it really crispy.' Over the road, he invents a new policy as he enters a video hire shop: 'Elect me and I'll make sure that anyone who doesn't rewind their tapes before they bring them back is shot.' The shop is full of DVDs which don't need rewinding but the manager is too polite to point it out.

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Would You Vote for Dirty Dai? ; (1) Rake, Drunk, Rampant Lothario but Apart From That, Dai Llewellyn Is No Ordinary Politician.So Will He Seduce the Voters As Easily As His Countless Conquests ...(2) How I See It

Outside, a spotty youth recoils from a leaflet with the word 'Europe' on it.

'I ******* hate Europe. It's all ********,' says the youth. 'Hear, hear,' says the candidate. 'I knew I could rely on your vote.' 'Ooh, is that Dai Llewellyn?' a lady pensioner asks me. I reply that it is. 'He's a one, isn't he?' She marches off laughing.

Pausing for a coffee and cigarette, the would-be Assembly Member for Cardiff North is rather enjoying this political lark. 'Do you know, I think my constituents have got prettier over the ...

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