Wall-to-Wall Television. Ersatz Patriotism.Pub Talk From Hell. And That Bloody Metatarsal. Please God, Get Me Out of Here! ; Michael Hanlon with a Thoroughlybad Tempered Cri de Coeur

Daily MailJune 07, 2006

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Summary


OK, WHERE can I go to hide? America is the only place, I suppose. Because whatever other faults they may have, only the Americans appear immune to this ghastly World Cup.

For anyone born without the football gene (and there are a lot of us out there, despite what you might think), we are about to enter several weeks of misery.

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Wall-to-Wall Television. Ersatz Patriotism.Pub Talk From Hell. And That Bloody Metatarsal. Please God, Get Me Out of Here! ; Michael Hanlon with a Thoroughlybad Tempered Cri de Coeur

It's not the football itself, of course; no one is going to force me to watch it, nor do I have to go into one of those gruesome pubs with the big screens.

No, it's that inexorable wave of faux emotion poised to wash over this country, that bizarre, inexplicable gush of certainty that this actually matters that rankles so much....

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