Simon Says: Jump Through Hoops ; Peterborough

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Summary

NOW Simon Cowell has finished judging those on Britain's Got Talent, here's how he might judge the sporting prowess of Olympic hopefuls:

Relay race: 'Dropping your baton twice during the hand-over is more than just a run of bad luck.'

Extract

Simon Says: Jump Through Hoops ; Peterborough

High jump: 'Good as that was, you need to raise the bar.'

Weight-lifting: 'That was, without doubt, an uplifting experience.'

Badminton: 'You've got to lose the baggy shorts.'

Shooting...