I Was so Teetotally Boring ; for Ten, Long Miserable Years, the Only Alcohol I Had Was in Mouthwash

Summary

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SUPERSTITION claims it's bad luck to make a toast with water. If this is true, then I have surely earned myself and my associates a lifetime's misfortune.

I can't count the number of times when I have raised a decidedly half-empty glass of mineral water and wished the bride/baby well. It wasn't my choice. Party hosts rarely cater for non-drinkers, unless the guests are under 12, when cherryade may be provided.

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I Was so Teetotally Boring ; for Ten, Long Miserable Years, the Only Alcohol I Had Was in Mouthwash

For ten, long miserable years, I was, for medical reasons, a teetotaller. The only alcohol I ingested was in mouthwas...

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